Wed, Sep. 22nd, 2004, 11:37 am
oh my GOD
is HILAROUS! click on "watch the high speed intro."
before i launch into today's rant, i want to say thanks to everyone who comments frequently on my journal. it means a lot to me. ^_^ y'all get internet hugs. ((((((((((y'all)))))))))))
so this is the stuff of the moment.
i'm sick! but i think the crap that's been lodged in my face is breaking up and slowly dripping out, so that means i'm getting better? i do hope so, because it seems EVERYONE is sick, at school, on lj... i hope i haven't the flu... i've never got the flu but i heard it completely debilitated my aunt for some time. who is sick out there? make your croaking voices heard! :)
kyttn is sick, too :( poor babe. he keeps throwing up and this morning when i stepped in it i decided then and there he is going to the vet. it could be a number of things, like new food... i was trying to introduce that new organic kitty litter... or getting mels (the new cat). but we'll see soon enough. he goes in friday at 3:30.
the hearing for van's family is tomorrow :-/ we're all a little weary, van especially. i wish i could tell him that his family is not falling apart, and that everything will be OK, but i honestly don't know that. i just hope in time he will be absorbed in my family and feel like a part of it. :) families have a tendency to do that.
--a few minutes later--
i just got a call from van and as i was walking around the house, i stepped in MORE cat vomit! urg!! which gave me an idea!
the question of the day!
it'll be like the friday five, except it will be included in every journal entry. today's question? what grosses you out more than anything? i felt it was kind of a running theme of this entry. so, respond in a comment and feel free to post it in your journal to see what other people say. just give cred ;)
alright, on to more marika-related business. today will probably prove to be a busy day. i thought i was going to sleep all day since i really wore myself out these past few days with minimal sleep and maximum effort put out, but i woke up at 10:00 am. might be late for some of you, might be early, but for me it's early. i still have boundless energy (something to be watched). so i called bj and told him i would indeed be meeting him for a mall outing. i know this sounds terribly cliche, but i can't think of a better way to spend the day than grabbing a friend and going to the mall. maybe it's because our town is so small and entertainment options are severely limited. i think i like the mall because it is a microcosm in itself; then each store is also its own little world. but believe me i am not a mallrat. i just enjoy it. i may have come close to the mallrat title in high school, but not now. in the words of bj, "just because the smoothie guy knows us by our order DOESN'T mean we live here!" haha. the stores i like best are: torrid, fye, suncoast, hot topic, sometimes claires, the smoothie place, and that indian traders place. there used to be a store called inti in our mall, i don't know if it was a chain or what, but it was great. it had hot topic-type products except without the pretentious attitude and the mean sales clerks. some of those hot topic workers are bitches! (some are just hot.) but in inti we could stand around talking to the girls that worked there for like 20 minutes and they would enjoy us and not be like, "what do you, live here?" also inti had more unique items. like my rainbow bright hoodie. i never saw that in hot topic and i've only seen it on maybe 2 or 3 other people. and my plaid dickies bag. i need to start using that again. anyway so it was a great store, now it's out of business. :( tres triste. but the best part of the mall is definitely people watching. bj and i get smoothies and sit on our bench and watch people. it's so much better than tv. sharper picture too. :)
i also have to go to the bank, the grocery store, do the dishes, clean my bedroom, and hang out with ryan. i love being busy :)
5:17 AM oh my god if i have to stay up another hour i'm going to shoot myself in left brain. i just spent 4 HOURS on ONE ASSIGNMENT ALONE. and on top of that, i spent another 4 hours in the library today doing the portion of the assignment that needed to be completed in the language lab. that's 8 total hours on one god damned assignment. i just can't fathom it, even though i've already done it. my ass is sleep deprived! i was worn out before this mess but now i'm seriously beat. my eyes are going to be half closed all day. people will probably think i'm stoned, or related to jim bruer.
8:04 AM could it be?! am i really DONE with french?? !!!! yes!!!!
10:44 AM it's off to mind-numbing hell - i mean school - i go, on one and a half hours of sleep.
12:25 PM whoa. it's weird to be here. i get pretty scatterbrained when i don't get enough sleep. i mean, i'm usually disorganized, but today already i spent five minutes looking for my wallet in my car when it was in my pocket the whole time. then there's crowded computer lab confusion... man! talk about overwhelming. well, gotta go put "outrageous accentures" on my french paper. bonsoir!
5:09 PM whoa, and this time a good whoa! my day did a total 360. i was late for RM lab because i was attempting the homework (damn standard deviation), which i didn't finish. but i had to get to class, because if your more 10 + minutes late, you're absent for the day. they lock you out and an absence is really bad for your grade. plus the fact that we only have the class once a week, so you kinda have to go. so i drove over there and got a great spot in the lot closest to the building! first i was heading for one spot, but i saw another girl was poised to get it, she was just too far away. so i was like, snaking it out from under her without realizing it. so my conscience kicks in and i let her have the spot and i keep going and i get a better spot! instant (good) karma :) then i ran up the parking-garage style stairs on the side of the building only to find the second floor door is locked from the inside! so i run down the stairs, all the way around the building to the main entrance, take the elevator up to the 2nd floor (cuz by this time i'm wheezing), just knowing my dick of a teacher is going to smile and wave at me through the window of the door, also locked. i could feel it. he criticizes everything i do, so i was sure this would be another point of contention. instead he lets me in! it's a miracle. i sit through class, stomach rumbling, and at break ask him if i can email him the homework tomorrow and take the lost points. he says yes, but i must give it to him personally, not put it in his box, not email it to him. i tell him i'm not going to be on campus tomorrow and that it's an hour drive from my house. surprisingly he understands! he implies that if i give it to him on thursday he will "be cool about it." wow, the gods are smiling on me. my good year has indeed begun.
after i get some lunch at taco bizzy, i hear one of my favorite new songs, "a favor house atlantic" by coheed and cambria. i was so ecstatic that i start belting it out at the top of my lungs as i sped down the road back to school. aah a glorious moment. the song is losing steam with regards to airplay, so it was sooooo good to hear it. the best part about my lunch recess today was the clouds. they were so beautiful. god who painted that? man. blew me away.
so anyway i get back to school filled with an overwhelming sense of calm. now usually my internal state is anything but calm at school, or in any social situation. but today i'm self assured and i know it. i feel as if i'm walking to see a friend, but i'm not. i'm just walking. and i walk with confidence. people notice. it's really nice. for a short time i get a glimpse at how it feels to not be bothered by stupid shit, and what it feels like to be less insecure. i get to cooper and decide to track down lance about the questions i had with the lab. he is sitting in his office writing a paper. he seems glad that i finished my lab and came to him for help. i want to be a good student, i really do. i need to get my GPA up. i would say i'm getting better by the day. :)
i know this is a long entry but i'm over putting lj cuts in my own journal for long entries. hope you all are having fun!
"you can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your pants!"
i am going to try to update quickly and without whining. (note: there is a difference between whining and stating something.)
today is a cheerful seeming day. very cloudy and windy and cool for a change, which is nice. it's been windy and cloudy before but not with cool air. aaah.
i'm taking a break from my french lab. i think i'm getting sick. i know my headache is just due to my ponytail being pulled too tight. i had a friend in jr high who would tied her ponytail so tight it pulled the skin around her eyes. people made fun of her for this.
van met me in the library and we had good times. we talked while i reorganized my backpack. i'm getting into organizing things. and washing my hands thoroughly and repeatedly. i even bought one of this little bottles of hand sanitizer. OCD?? i hope not. that can be really paralyzing. it's probably just stress.
anyway kids, i'm off! have a great one, and libras, prepare for something big :)
Mon, Sep. 20th, 2004, 12:55 am
i want some chocolate and we don't have any. :( i'm doing really bad with my attempts at being a vegetarian. the whole giving myself a week to get off beef and pork turned into 9 days, but it feels like longer. and i've had chicken almost every day i haven't had pork. fuck, this is harder than i thought.
tuesday is such a big day. i have all this crap due for french. check this shit out.
a quiz (like we usually have on tuesdays)
an ORAL EXAM (three minutes of a spoken quiz individually)
20 PAGES OF LAB!!!
a composition written in french
PLUS, normal book homework.
on top of that, i have to calculate some variance and standard deviation thingies for my research methods lab, also due tuesday. i know i can get it all done if i work all day tomorrow, which is what i'm going to have to do.
tuesday's supposed to be a big day astrologically too. i've looked into it and this is a big year for libras. jupiter is going into libra or something so it means we get a whole year of golden age proportions. yesss. it's gonna be long overdue. it's all gonna come out, outa me, onto you
. i put my RBR sticker on the back window of my car right under the break light, which turned out to be a stupid thing because it obstructs my vision. van said i might even get a ticket. fuckers. oh and i got an evolve poster too, which has a really beautiful picture of ani looking wistful. :) loves me some ani!
so yeah, i think the most recent strong bad email
was sent in by my friend ryan. i can tell by the long and rambling nature of the signature. "did you just call me a dog food gangster?" haha. anyway i tried calling him today to ask if it really was him but he didn't pick up his phone. hey ryan, was that you? it had the correct last initial, and your crazy homie-speak.
anyway, this rambling has come to a close.
Mon, Sep. 20th, 2004, 12:31 am
haha, that's TWO for sam liking sweaty crevices. ;)
the concert was amazing, to say the least. i'll update more when i have more energy. i just about ran myself into the ground cleaning mercilessly and running errands for the last 7 + hours. whoo! what a weekend. hope yours was fun :)
ps - i finally found my glasses! joy of joys!!!
Sat, Sep. 18th, 2004, 05:19 pm
i MOST DEFINITELY AM going to see ani tonight!! YEEE-HAAWW. hahahaha. i'm taking kim. we will have a delictable time. but for now i gotta get my happy ass in the shower!
marf. i just got home from chambers with timm. it was really fun, i'll update more when i'm awake. i'm hoping to go see ani tomorrow!!! everything depends on getting that refund check from my aunt... or if what timm says is true, getting to an amscot before it's too late... my god i want to go so bad. i should sleep now. bye!
well a good night's sleep proved i needn't worry about stupid things. sure, i got a stupid crush on some guy in my class who turned out to be married, but it's all water under the bridge now. i worked things out with van and eventually he'll feel more comfortable trusting me. plus, besides this drama, things are good at home! despite the hurt this annoying-ness has caused, it really opened my eyes to how much i care for van. things finally feel settled, in a happy way. where they should be. so, enough with this silly mess. onward!
i feel bubble-gum poppy today. :) it's a good change! timm and i are going to chambers tonight. that means i gotta get gas and cash. cash money.
i feel accomplished cuz i finally signed up for student health insurance, so i can get reimbursed for my perscription. today is wraught with adventures and obligations. bj, timm, and my aunt are all waiting on my attention. not to mention an empty fridge, and no soy milk makes for a sad marika. cuz that means no cereal, and cereal is my lifeblood.
i had morning sex again today. i'm coming around on it.
have a good one all!
i am feeling really horrible. i told van about the recent problem i've been mulling over, hoping it would make things better. and in the long run i'm sure it did, but for now it sucks. now he's mulling it over and doesn't know what to think or feel about me, except that he loves me, of course. god i feel so awful. why am i such a .... blah.